Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
This quote, often attributed to various sources, encapsulates the journey from our inner thoughts to our destiny. At its core, it highlights the significance of intrapersonal communication—the silent, continuous dialogue we hold with ourselves.
Intrapersonal communication is more than just a stream of consciousness; it is the foundation of our self-awareness and emotional regulation. By understanding and guiding our self-talk and inner dialogue, we shape our actions, habits, and character. But to strengthen our intrapersonal communication, we must also grasp the temporal nature of our thinking—how our minds oscillate between the past, present, and future.
Imagine your mind as a streaming service with three types of channels: the History Channel, the Current Events Channel, and the Future Channel. Each one represents a different temporal perspective that influences how we think and what we communicate to others.
The History Channel features episodes about our past experiences. This channel plays reruns of our memories, reflections, and regrets.
The Current Events Channel is where the present moment takes center stage. Here, we focus on sensory perceptions, mindfulness, and immediate tasks.
The Future Channel broadcast our plans, dreams, and our worries about what lies ahead.
Before we explore each of these channels in a bit more detail, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on which of these three channels you think you spend the most time tuning into.
In this post, I’ll share how each of these mental channels impacts our intrapersonal communication. We'll then see what the academic research says about where we direct our attention, and I’ll share three strategies for balancing our thoughts across these temporal perspectives to enhance our self-awareness.
The History Channel
Revisiting past experiences through the History Channel shapes our identity and informs our present self-concept. Reflecting on memories and past actions can provide valuable lessons and insights, guiding our current decisions and behaviors. However, dwelling too much on regrets or nostalgia can hinder personal growth and keep us anchored in the past. Below are some examples of the types of episodes that might be playing on your History Channel:
Memory Lane: Recalling events, experiences, and information from the past like a vacation, childhood experiences, or past conversations.
Reflective Moments: Thinking about how past events have shaped current beliefs or behaviors.
Nostalgia: Wishing things had been different or longing for the “good old days.”
The Current Events Channel
The Current Events Channel keeps us anchored in the present, enhancing our immediate awareness. Focusing on the here and now allows us to engage fully with our current experiences, improves our responsiveness and emotional regulation, and helps us manage stress. Here’s what you might be tuning into:
Sensory Immersion: Noticing what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.
Mindful Moments: Being fully engaged and aware of the present moment without judgment.
FocusTV: Focusing on what you are doing right now, such as reading, working, or having a conversation.
The Future Channel
The Future Channel projects our aspirations, goals, and potential anxieties, shaping our plans and motivating us toward future achievements. Anticipating future outcomes can inspire us to take proactive steps and stay committed to our long-term objectives. However, excessive worry about future uncertainties can create stress and hinder our ability to enjoy the present. Some common shows on this channel include:
Planner: Preparing for upcoming tasks, setting goals, and organizing future activities.
Anticipation: Looking forward to future events like vacations, milestones, or meetings.
Anxiety Alert: Imagining potential problems or uncertainties in the future.
What does the research say?
Research on temporal focus, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, sheds light on how our focus on different time periods impacts our well-being and achievements.
Past: Focusing too much on the past isn’t good for us. Research demonstrates that individuals who do so experience higher levels of depression and dissatisfaction with life.
Present: Focusing on the present has mixed outcomes. It increases life satisfaction, but may also be related to risk-seeking, drug & alcohol use, and procrastination.
Future: Thinking about the future is advantageous. Research suggests future-focused individuals are more likely to set goals, care about their health, and act proactively. This focus seems to lead to life and work achievements.
Research cited in this article suggests how we direct our attention changes as we age. As people transition from adolescence to adulthood, they tend to focus more on the past and future while paying less attention to the present. However, as they age further and perceive time as more limited, their focus on the future diminishes.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian, eloquently captured the challenge of where to direct our attention when he wrote, “There remains for us only the very narrow way, often extremely difficult to find, of living every day as if it were our last, and yet living in faith and responsibility as though there were to be a great future.”
This quote relates to the research on temporal focus, which shows that while the present moment can bring satisfaction, it’s the focus on the future that drives achievement. Bonhoeffer’s words remind us of the importance of harmonizing these perspectives, ensuring that we live with both immediate mindfulness and long-term foresight.
How can we achieve balance?
We can maintain a balance among past, present, and future-oriented thoughts by applying these three strategies:
Integrate lessons from the past: Use reflections on past experiences to inform current decisions and future planning.
Practice mindfulness: Engage in activities that promote present-moment awareness to reduce stress and improve focus.
Make plans: Develop actionable plans for the future while managing expectations and uncertainties.
Just as the opening quote reminds us that our thoughts shape our destiny, integrating lessons from the past, staying present, and planning for the future helps us align our inner dialogue with the character and destiny we aspire to achieve.
Sources: Shipp, A. J., & Aeon, B. (2019). Temporal focus: Thinking about the past, present, and future. Current Opinion in Psychology, 26, 37-43.
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